PARTNERS' STORIES
Bernie's Story: Living here and there 

Before Tim and I came to visit Cuddesdon before his selection conference, I was quite anti community life and we were thinking that Tim would be a weekly boarder and that we would see each other only at the weekends in our home in South London. I work in Wimbledon and we were going to have to think hard about how we would order our lives and how we would cope looking after our cocker spaniel, Annie, as I would not have been able to get home to walk her lunchtimes and obviously I would have missed Tim too!!
 
However, everything changed from the moment we arrived, apart from the fabulous views and the wonderful countryside, everyone was so welcoming, and before the first day was through I realised that I did not want to miss out on the experience of community living and college life, I was already quite envious of the life that was open to Tim and I thought I was going to be excluded from it. The only problem was I also did not want to give up my job as a Chemistry teacher, a job I love. 
 
That night we talked for quite a long time about what we though of Cuddesdon and how we both wanted to share in the experience together. The compromise we came up with was that Tim would come up to Cuddesdon with Annie so that she could get company during the day, and that I would travel up at weekends and on Wednesday nights after work and then drive back to Wimbledon early on a Thursday. It was important to us that we spent over half of the nights in the week together. 
 
So this is what we have done. Wednesday nights work out well, I feel as if I am having a mini break in the week and, if the traffic flows well, I am able to arrive in time for the college Eucharist and meal so I meet up with the rest of the community and really feel part of what is going on. I also have time on the nights I am not in Cuddesdon to get on with my marking undisturbed! And despite the fact that Friday traffic can be a bit of a nightmare, once I arrive at Cuddesdon I relax and feel totally part of what is going on. 
 
There is so much going on at the college, but there is also no pressure to get involved any more than you want to, although I have found that I want to as much as I can, serving on Guest Night was great fun! But there is no right or wrong way of living at Cuddedson, the main thing is that it works for you. I feel very privileged to be able to be part of the community here and yet still be able to do the job I love, and it certainly works for us.

Bernie Goode
 

Helen's Story: Living on site

Before Cuddesdon (BC), we had prepared our house for rent. Keith (ordinand and husband) was working on the kitchen and we were having numerous jobs done to the outside of the house. We moved from a three bedroom house to a two bedroom flat which gave us a art for decluttering. This was a really beneficial to us and a good life lesson. The boys Aidan(6.5) and Matthew(5) had always shared a room and the spacious flat enabled a bedroom come playroom for them.
 
The main change has been living with so many Christians it’s surreal and not usual. It takes time to adapt to community and how involved the ordinands needs to be especially in the first few weeks. Yet that is common feeling and with the support of the partners group and Be (weekly bible and prayer group) plus other services/lectures such as Source and Spirituality with informal crèches, there is live for the whole family here.
 
The big question of how not to argue with your husband/wife/children in front of the tutors/ordinands/spouses/partners?!!, had been a worry. We asked the boys to considered those who live below us not stamping their feet at 7am and playing musical instruments too early. (Children pleased don’t fight). The reality is we do argue and get angry, we’re human, so no worries now.
 
It’s great to get out and remember the world. I’ve been helping with reading at the school. Watching Matthew at football practice and travelling into Oxford every Tuesday evening to find out more about Urban Mission and my other pass time, shopping. I have also attended some lectures and looked at exploring my own vocation to ordination.(This is a very supportive environment.)
 
Community is great, we had so much help when Matthew cut his lip open and broke his leg (adventurous son). We are very grateful to be here and learning. 

Helen Rengert
 

Living off-site in Wheatley:

"You get a bit of space living out and there is more privacy!" Helen Rengert
"I like the little bit of distance... When John comes home he's focussed on family which is good."  Siobhan Bridge

Male Perspective

What’s it like being a partner?
 
"Mixture...frustrating sometimes, fulfilling sometimes, supporting partner with a heavy workload (CTh student) being head cook and bottle washer, looking after the kids, supporting partner so they don’t feel guilty."
 
It takes time to adjust to change in family dynamics and it's important that the kids are happy and all this is an ongoing process.
 
Gwion Thomas
 

GREAT FUN and HARD WORK

Being a partner is like being a magnet, you are attracted to everything around you, there is lots going on and to get involved with. It’s because of people's enthusiasm and encouragement. You end up wanting to help.
 
The community of partners can be liken to a jigsaw with different shapes that come together.
 
Children learn to feel comfortable around all ages of people. It is a unique and amazing experience for them.

Karen Cable
 
 

"SCHOOLS AND PRE-SCHOOLS ARE ALL GREAT" 

Pre-School: College students and partners run a coffee morning on a Wednesday from 10.00-11.30am which is toddler-friendly but everyone else is welcome.  There are many local toddler and pre-school groups listed in the 'Welcome to Cuddesdon' booklet.

Primary School: Garsington C of E Primary School, Wheatley Road, Garsington, Oxford OX44 9EW.  Head Teacher, Mr Brassington, tel: 361263.
The school bus collects children from outside College at 8.30am and returns at 3.15pm.

Secondary School: Wheatley Park School, Holton, Oxford OX33 1QH.  Head Teacher, Ms Kate Curtis, tel: 872441.

Further details of schools and all local amenities are listed in the 'Welcome to Cuddesdon' booklet.  Please request a copy from enquiries@ripon-cuddesdon.ac.uk